maybe this will help

Day Rush


maybe this will help.

i can’t sleep anyway because my brain stumbled over our last meeting again tonight, and rather than write 17 paragraphs in my head until MAYBE i manage to detach from the thoughts enough to get into the place where random sensory data permeates my awareness and the brain starts to reprocess input creating the feedback loop of fragmentary sensations that provoke me into a startled reaction coming back into wakefulness from increased/uneven heart beat and wake up AGAIN to thinking about what I should say or do within this microcosmic nightmare scenario i have created by reaching out to someone other about whether or not i correctly understand how this embodiment is actually working as intended when it was formed out of the celestial No-Thing(s) of Being/Shakti and Shiva/Awareness to actually COMMUNICATE to the wider manifest body that is Our Selves that i’m OK, but not really, and would someone please care to help? that i would actually sit down and PHYSICALLY write them down.

(read that last sentence in one breath as a prose poem titled: this is how my brain works but I’m not going to reformat it because the sound of the words in motion through the air communicates the rhythm and the melody and the desparate need to breathe that comes from trying (and failing) to read it in one breath will give you all the feeling with perfect fidelity).

...part of a longer essay about how it feels to live with an autistic brain, which is available on my personal blog site)

This document was translated from LATEX by HEVEA.